Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
