my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
