I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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