ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
