i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Randomize
