I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
