and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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