I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
