Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
