bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
