I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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