I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
