Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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