So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
