She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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