his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Barsexuality is the new black.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
