that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
