I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
