would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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