hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
