Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
