Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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