how can u be prego again
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
