when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize