either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
