You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You ruined the universe
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
