Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
