I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
