I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
