Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I have feelings that need drinking.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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