Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
