Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
