I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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