my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
