Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize