do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
