Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.

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(239): View more from Florida

Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?

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(205): View more from Alabama

Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.

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(845): View more from New York

beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween

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(859): View more from Kentucky

he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"

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(571): View more from Virginia

I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.

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(727): View more from Florida

that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"

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(940): View more from Texas

Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned

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