Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize