Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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