All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
