The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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