what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
either way he was missing a nipple.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
