How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize