I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
