Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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