i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
