if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
