Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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