I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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