I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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