I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
