In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
This toilet bowl is my home.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
