The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
