Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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