I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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