you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
