I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
