just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
