wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
No subtext here. People are naked.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
