Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
