on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
