how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
True strength comes from lack of pants
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
That's how pantless uber rides happen
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
