I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
