I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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