We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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