I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
