Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
