guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
