in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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