I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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