would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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