brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
