you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
i've created a new STD.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
