Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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