You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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