Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
