did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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