I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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