so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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