Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
