HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
